Jesus, Take the Wheel...

I've always kind of vacillated on my opinion of Carrie Underwood.  I loved when she won American Idol, but did not approve when she dated Tony Romo.  Was happy to see her host the ACM Awards, but got annoyed when she dissed Taylor Swift.  All in all, though, I like Carrie.  She's a good gal, and she has an amazing voice.

When I first heard 'Jesus, Take the Wheel', I thought it was a really pretty song.  I didn't take the time to pay attention to the lyrics, but it was a nice song.  It wasn't too long before it stopped coming on the radio, and I didn't give it any more thought.  There's always another song waiting.

When adversity hits you, it's normal to feel blindsided.  When relationships disintegrate, when you're humiliated and ashamed and hurt, it's easy to go adrift.  You feel isolated; you grieve.  You feel things you don't want to feel, and you try to come up with ways not to feel that way.  

I've spent the past few days struggling with my coping skills.  After sitting up until after 2 in the morning, I finally fell asleep. At 5:11, I was suddenly wide awake, and the first thought that was in my mind was the title of that song.  I haven't heard it in ages, but there it was.  And, 'it' was my answer.

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands

Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh Jesus, take the wheel...

The Symantec Treachery

As a general rule, I am a loyal person.  Once I am a friend, a family member, or a customer, you can count on me not to stray.  There are a few notable exceptions to this, but not a whole lot.  I've worn Reebok Freestyle high-tops since they first came out in the 80's; I am an ardent customer of Green Giant vs. Libby's.  Treat me right, and I am as faithful as a puppy.

Problem with this is, betrayal is twice as harsh when it's at the hands of someone you're loyal to.  Such was the case with my recent run-in with Symantec, who produces the family of Norton security software products.

I recently purchased a new laptop.  My 3rd HP laptop, because I am loyal to HP.  There's something so sublime about opening the box and pulling out a shiny new laptop; it's divine.  Almost like having a new baby.  Once you've gotten past the sheer beauty of it, the sense of responsibility kicks in.  I have the wonderful thing, but it must be protected!

I promptly activated my 60-day trial of Norton Internet Security that HP graciously included with my new system.  Within hours, I ordered a 1-year subscription to Norton, and a week later I was a bona fide  Norton subscriber, as I had been with all of my previous computers.

Less than a week later, there was trouble in paradise.  My Norton security scans were going haywire.  Every 90 minutes or so a screen would pop up telling me I had threats on my computer that needed to be addressed.  Threats?!  On my baby?  Let me at 'em!  Problem was, it wouldn't let me at 'em.  It claimed to have knowledge of these nefarious threats, but wouldn't let me near them.  Would not list them, would not let me send them hurtling into cyberspace.  Frustrating doesn't even begin to cover it.

After some feeble attempts to fix the problem, I made the decision to let the experts handle it.  I went to Symantec's technical support site and, as the saying goes, the games began.

I sat patiently waiting and, finally, started a live chat session with a gentleman named Yashif.  He was armed with a plethora of canned niceties, and quickly assured me that he 'would be happy to help me'.  He asked for, and received, permission to access my computer, and spent about 25 minutes poking around, doing everything I'd already done, and not much else.  He came back to the chat window, and typed in the words that would make just about anyone with a computer shudder with fear:  "Your computer has a virus."

The stages of grief began immediately, with Denial.  It couldn't be true!  How?  When? Why?  Say it ain't so!  I wasn't buying it.  I asked Yashif how I could possibly have picked up a virus, when I had been using Norton since I first turned my computer on.  His response was to tell me he was 'escalating' this issue.  I was somewhat mollified; certain that his supervisors could roll up their sleeves and get me fixed up in no time.

'No time' turned in to 80 minutes that I waited for Yashif's supervisor to finally sign on and offer his assistance.  I quickly explained my dilemma, and once again got the assertion that he'd be 'happy to help me'.  He got into my system and looked for all of 5 minutes before concurring with Yashif that I did, in fact, have a virus.  I asked again how I could have a virus with their product in place, and got a very snarky retort about opening attachments and not heeding Norton's warnings before visiting websites.  Okay, now I'm mad.

Supervisor dude quickly announces that he's transferring me to Norton's Virus Removal department.  All I will need to do is pull out my credit card and pay them $129 and they'll remove the offending virus.  Uh, too late, guys.  I'm mad.  You imply that I got my computer sick by acting irresponsibly, and now you want money?  No way.  I shut them down without so much as a 'good day'.

I spent the next few days in sadness.  The feeling was akin to buying a brand new car, all shiny and unblemished, and getting a rock chip in the windshield driving home from the dealership.  My new computer wasn't pristine anymore.  It was tainted.  I had panic attacks thinking about that virus worming it's way through, wreaking havoc on my system.  That cursed pop-up window came up constantly to remind me of my shortcomings as a computer owner.  It was awful.

Sunday night I decided I couldn't live with it anymore, so I sought out help.  I just had to get that virus out.  But where to turn?  The only thing I knew for sure was that I was not letting Norton's people near my baby.  So, being loyal, I went back to an old friend.

eBay.

Whatever it is, you can find it on eBay!  Sure enough, I found a person who would scan my computer and remove that horrid parasite.  I paid the nominal fee, and received an email scheduling an appointment for Monday night.

At the appointed hour, I got a call from a friendly guy named Jason.  I explained my situation, and turned my computer over to him.  I spent the next hour or so trying in vain to keep up with him as he scanned this and that, but eventually gave up.  Finally, Jason called back, and I braced myself for the news.

"Vicky?  I've finished checking everything.  You didn't have any viruses on your computer."
WHAT?!  All this anguish, for nothing?  Jason continued that the reason Norton was behaving so erratically was that the installation file for Norton Internet Security was corrupt.  Simply removing Norton, then re-installing it, had fixed the problem.

Okay now I'm really mad.  I couldn't believe Symantec had caused all this angst and couldn't recognize a simple glitch with their own software.  On top of that, they were trying to get another $129 out of me, to remove a virus that didn't even exist!  Was this a common practice for them?  A simple Google search provided that answer:  yep!

I found 2 different websites filled with customer complaints, hundreds of them.  One of the most common complaints involved customers being charged to remove viruses, only to have their problems remain.  Apparently Symantec is none to anxious to refund customers, either.  A number of customers regard this as a scam at the worst, and woefully inadequate technical support at the least.  I'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt, but they accused me of hurting my computer.

I still have Norton on my computer, but only for as long as it takes for my Kaspersky Internet Security Software to arrive.  I ordered it within minutes of talking to Jason.  I really wanted to write this as a caveat to anyone who uses, or is considering using, any of the Norton Security software.  Let the buyer beware!

The Secret's in the Ingredients

I love to bake.

I've never been artistically inclined, as my high-school art teacher will attest to.  I took Art expecting an easy 'A', assuming we'd be doing pipe-cleaner flowers and papier mache' like we did in elementary school.  After 2 weeks, my teacher took me aside and suggested I might be happier finding another elective.

Still, I needed some outlet for my creativity.   Living in Europe brought a whole new culture into my life, and new culinary experiences.  Germany had the most amazing bakeries I've ever seen!  Even Paris's bakeries didn't hold a candle to the German bäckerei as far as I'm concerned.  I've searched high and low in my treks across the U.S., and the closest thing I've found to the European delights I indulged in was in Anchorage AK.  I was pregnant at the time, and I took full advantage of my weekly therapist appointments to slip over for a Napoleon or a Strawberry Tart.  I think the whipped cream was more therapeutic than the therapist.

As a result of my fascination with all things sweet and decadent, I sort of fell in to baking.  I went through my phyllo phase, and I went through my pastry cream phase.  What I found out was, my family is not impressed by the aesthetics, they just want something they can scarf down.  Keeping this in mind, I switched the focus of my baking from the elegant to the flavorful.

Problem is:  how do you practice individuality and creativity with a pound cake?  Where is the creativity in sugar cookies?  Then, I found my answer:  ingredients!  I would read, I would peruse, I would seek out those 'secret' ingredients that pastry chefs are hoarding for themselves.  After all, why should they have all the good stuff?!

After several years of hit-and-miss experimenting, I have a cache of secret ingredients that I keep in a place of prestige; on their own little shelf of my fridge.  Stupid as it sounds, I smile every time I open my refrigerator door and see those little bottles.  I just like the fact that I have them there, patiently waiting for their opportunity to enhance and infuse.

I decided to share a few of my favorites, on the off chance someone might be interested.  Please forgive the stock photos; my photography stinks!

 

Vanilla Bean "Crush"

Although I am loathe to admit this, I've never been a huge fan of chocolate in baking.  I know this is not normal for a woman, but I've never been considered a 'normal' woman anyways.  I do enjoy an occasional chocolate pastry, but my friends know the truth:  Vanilla is my first love.  Vanilla is what makes me swoon.  I have a whole mélange of vanilla extracts, beans, and pastes, but this little bottle is my #1 go-to.  It's a two-fold vanilla extract of Tahitian and Madagascar vanilla beans, with crushed vanilla bean and vanilla bean seeds.  It knocked my vanilla bean paste right out of the top spot.

Sweet Dough Emulsion

I came across this little gem while doing research online.  We've all had this dilemma:  we stir our extracts into our batter, and we smell the wonderful aroma.  Then we pop our creation into the oven.  It comes out, we take a bite, and.....nothing.  Where did the flavor go?  Well, the answer is basic science.  With extracts, the flavor is suspended in alcohol.  Under heat, the alcohol evaporates, along with most of our flavor!  Not good.  So, how do professional bakers keep all the flavor from baking away?  Bakery Emulsions are the answer.  The flavor actually sticks around!  I have 3 different emulsions I use, but this one is the best.  It's a butter/vanilla citrus blend that gives a wonderful flavor, but it's hard to put your finger on what the flavor is.  That's the 'secret' of the ingredient.  As a bonus, it smells absolutely divine.  I've been known to open the bottle and savor the aroma on random trips to the fridge.  I'm weird that way.

Fiori Di Sicilia

This is another emulsion, and it's one of the most unusual ingredients I've ever used.  It's a citrusy-vanilla blend, but the real punch is in the aroma.  It's a sweet floral scent, and it doesn't disappear during baking one bit.  My boys love when I cook with this!  Joseph calls it my 'Froot Loops stuff', because he thinks it makes the whole house smell like Froot Loops.  I don't use it often, but you can definitely tell when I do.

Boyajian Citrus Oils

I love, love, LOVE these!  I saw them mentioned in a blog, and decided to give them a try.  They are so good I have trouble describing them.  All those pesky recipes that call for lemon zest, orange rind?  No sweat!  These measure out equally, with all the flavor but without all the fuss.  I wouldn't think about making Lemon Bars or Orange Chicken without them.  Intense flavor, no hassles!

Oetker Whip-It

I started using Dr. Oetker products living in Germany, he's their answer to Betty Crocker.  I like to use fresh whipped cream when I can, but of course it doesn't hold up all that well after a while.  This little envelope is your answer.  Sprinkled into your whipping cream, it'll hold up for hours.  

Argo Baking Powder

Okay, nothing exotic about this one.  You can buy it at Wal-Mart, although I can't guarantee it will be in the Brady Wal-Mart. I was raised on Clabber Girl, and I used it all the way up to last year.  Thing is, I always noticed something that perhaps you've noticed, too:  that mildly bitter, almost metallic taste in your breads and biscuits.  You can't put your finger on it, but you taste something.  I found out the culprit:  aluminum!  An ingredient found in most baking powders, I never even noticed it until I read about it.  Argo's baking powder is aluminum free, but it works perfectly.

So there they are.  All my little secrets, at least as far as baking goes.  I thought about listing a recipe or two, but Sara beat me to it, and I don't want her calling me a copycat!

Be Blessed,
~V

A Real Classless Act

I sat today and listened with dismay at Tiger Woods give his 'apology'.  I should say, I listened to the start of it, before getting so disgusted I switched him off. 

Maybe I'm showing my age (again!), but I am unspeakably disappointed in this guy.  His behavior is just idiotic.  He is gifted, educated, and intelligent, so why on earth would he act so incredibly stupid?!  Looking past the infidelity, which is distasteful enough in itself, let's consider this pathetically staged 'apology'.  It was by invitation only, with those in attendance getting guidelines in advance that no questions would be permitted.  I applaud the Golf Writers Association of America for their decision to boycott the circus, saying, "As long as we're not going to have the ability to ask questions, as long as we're just going to be standing there like props, there's no point of us being in the room."

I'm not going to get into the Christianity vs. Buddhism debate here, but the way he invoked his faith in this declamation was rather pathetic.  I thought to myself that it would be no different for me to go out and do something deplorable, only to proclaim,"Hey, I'm a Christian!  Guess I ought to get back in the Bible and see if maybe I  should be doing something else instead..."

My other issue is one that has come up with other celebrities and athletes.  When they get called on the carpet for their behavior, they use a familiar diatribe:  "I never said I was a role model! I never asked to be a role model!"  News Flash, folks:  When you accept an endorsement worth millions of dollars, doing advertising aimed at our youth, you willingly take on that role.  If you really don't want to take that responsibility, fine.  Say "no, thank you" to that money.  Stay away from the programs, video games, and products my boys are interested in.

My personal opinion is that Tiger needs to go off somewhere and get his life together outside the media glare.  Everyone deserves a second chance; and he's no exception.  In the meantime, the Winter Olympics is providing a whole new batch of athletes for us to admire.  My choice?  Shaun White, the snowboarding sensation.  He has a lot of similarities to Tiger, at least on the surface.  Both of them are young, at the top of their sports, both of them are millionaires, and they've got legions of fans.


In other ways, they couldn't be more different.  Where Tiger is standoffish and distant towards his audience, Shaun takes every opportunity to relate to his young fans.  He's enthusiastic, charismatic, and approachable; I just plain like the kid.  My boys like him.  I like the way he treats his fans, his teammates, and his family.

Okay, I'm done ranting on this.  I know that my opinion is in the minority.  Unlike Tiger, though; I welcome your questions and comments!

Be Blessed,
~V

Today's Top 10

The Top 10 Things I Love About Living in a Small Texas Town

10)  Neighbors

9)  Going from one side of town to the other in 5 minutes

8)  When you talk about 'Chester', someone actually has to ask, "Which one?"

7)  The ability to meet every single person in town, just by walking through Wal-Mart

6)  If you don't know what you're doing, don't worry.  Everyone else in town does!

5)  My kids are safe in my front yard

4)  The bank tellers know me by my first name

3)  See You at the Pole

2)  Small-town churches (the BEST!)

1)  My small-town friends! 

Today's Top 10

The Top 10 Things I Miss Living in a Small Town

10)  Having a plethora of restaurants that deliver

9) A really good Chinese buffet

8) Taco Bueno

7)  Bakeries that specialize in decadence

6)  IHOP

5)  Bed, Bath & Beyond

4)  Williams-Sonoma

3)  Target

2)  Bookstores with built-in coffee houses

and,

1)  Anonymity!

Facebook Etiquette 101

As some people already know, I have issues with Facebook. No, wait. That isn't true. I have issues with people and how they behave on Facebook. Wikipedia, who everyone knows is the authority on everything, says this: "Facebook is a social networking website...". So what does that mean? Social is defined as "relating to human society and its members". My conclusion? If it is on a social networking website, it should be socially relate-able! Plain and simple.

So, I went online, and found many many many articles written on this very subject. Hallelujah! See, there are others (apparently LOTS of them) who are also irked by the posts popping up on their Facebook pages. So, in all likelihood, there are other friends out there who can relate.

After perusing some of these articles on Facebook etiquette, I found that the majority of them center on the same issues; which, coincidentally, are the same issues I have! So here goes: I am posting the basics for Facebook etiquette, quoting such prestigious sources as Time magazine and Facebook itself!

Facebook Etiquette 101

1) Please do not post status updates that are WAYYYYY too personal
Facebook should never take the place of your spouse, your best friend, your clergy, or your shrink. Since when(!) did it become appropriate to air your family business and your dirty laundry in front of your 200 closest friends and co-workers?!  If you're over the age of 15, it's really inappropriate to post your undying passion for your significant other on the internet, unless it's a birthday, anniversary, or Valentine's Day.  The word we're all groping for here is tacky.  That strange sound that you hear immediately following your post?  That's the sound of all of your friends rolling their eyes in unison!

2) Stop taking quizzes.
Okay, I admit I'm guilty of this. In my defense, I have learned recently that I can take the quizzes and get my results without posting my results on everyone's wall. I also know enough to never invite, challenge, or share the quizzes. I acknowledge that even my friends don't particularly care which 'Friend' I am most like (Chandler, FYI) or what kind of 80's kid I was. No problem taking the quizzes, but keep it to yourself!

3) Skip the 'causes'
I'm really sorry your uncle's cousin has Mesothelioma, but I am not interested in 'becoming a fan' of that organization. While we're on that subject: I am also not going to join anything, sign up, or read anything so that you can win an XBox, go on a vacation, or get a new laptop. 'Nuff said.

4) Serial Posting
I realize I might step on some toes with this one, but here goes: Enough is enough! I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 friends on Facebook. If I log on to my page and the first 6 posts that pop up are all from you, you're posting too much! Seriously, do you think anyone cares that your workday is going slow? Do you imagine we are glued to our laptops, waiting to hear what time you are having lunch? Let me share some inside information: we don't care. I realize that there are some special days in your life where exciting things are happening, and you want to share information with your friends. I am totally okay with that, and I'll look forward to reading them. The point is, on an average day, there's really no need for more than 2 posts, one in the AM and one in the PM. Along these same lines is the problem of the regurgitated post.
You all know what I mean. The 'friend' who has copy-pasted the identical post over and over again, hoping that this time you'll finally decide that the post is a good one. Here is a BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious) for you: We didn't care the first time, and we don't care the 31st time, either!

5) The Friending Frenzy
I have found myself adding one or two 'friends' to my Facebook that have surprised me, mostly as a courtesy. Out of the 50 or so people who have access to my account, how many of them are people I'd truly call a friend? I have 15 family members, and about 10 people who I would honestly call friends. Meaning, I speak to them regularly offline, I know about and am interested in their lives. My life is richer because of those 10 people. For me, 50 Facebook friends seems excessive. How shocking, then, to observe those people whose friends list is approaching 4 digits?! The point is; that everyone you've 'friended' is going to have all of your lovely posts pop up on their wall. And theirs on your wall. 'Nuff said.

6) Who do you post?
Copy-pasting is an especially irritating habit; specifically when it's done over and over and over. It's even worse when you are copy-pasting something you got in an email or from another friend, and you post it as your own thoughts or your own research. FYI: We know you copied it from an email. We don't think you are up early catching up on your motivational research. If you're going to do this, have enough integrity to acknowledge your source.

7) What do you post?
There is one particular Facebook app that I think every Facebook user should take a look at. It's called Status Statistics, and it has some really useful information. One of the best sources is telling you which words you use most often in your posts. If any of your top words would be considered negative, whiny, or neurotic, you might want to re-think what you are saying.

8) The guilt post
This ranks right up there with the guilt email, and it's moronic. You all know what I mean: I think kicking puppies is WRONG! If you think so, too, copy and re-post this. 97% of people will not re-post this. PUH-LEEZE! For the record: I do love God, and I support our Military. I do not approve of beating children, using the elderly for drug testing, or giving illegal aliens Social Security benefits. Call me stubborn, but you will never get me to copy-paste your wall post just to prove to you or anyone else how I feel about something! 'Nuff said.

9) Ambiguous posts
Oh, I have been chomping at the bit to post this one! I could go on and on about this one, but the good folks at Time magazine put it so succinctly in their article "How Not to be Hated on Facebook", that I think I'll let them cover this one:
"Cryptic status updates about your mental state — "Rachel is trying so hard," "Rachel wishes things were different," "Rachel is starting her life over" — don't make you sound intriguing, just lonely and pathetic."

Translation: We aren't going to bite. We won't ask. Don't bother.

Okay, that is my rant for the day. I imagine that if certain people read this, they'll get miffed. Just keep in mind: I freely admit that I have been guilty of breaking some of these myself, and I am working to do better. Second, these came not just from me, but from other sources as well. That means that you aren't the only one doing these things, you're one of a number. If I stepped on any toes, all I can say is that; at least I did it in a private blog, and not on Facebook for everyone to see.

Tag you're it,
~V